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3/28/2009 hallelujahactually, i do not know what hallelujah really means. several days ago i just felt like listening to kate voegele's hallelujah badly. i didn't know why, i just wanted to hear that song. sometimes human just wants to do something, either good or bad, meaningful or nonsense, out of a sudden thought. so, it became my theme song this week.
from my perspective, maybe hallelujah is just an accompanying interjection when human is making a wish. this march i did make a wish but it didn't come true. damn it! about a fortnight ago, i went to a-sheep's home with dear vick to watch a football match between my beloved inter and man-utd. and when inter was behind the game by two scores, i whispered to god from the bottom of my heart, wishing him to lead us to win. however, however, however, god did not hear me. maybe it was because i did not whisper that interjection hallelujah, so god did not get my wish.
last night, one of my nieces, a brilliant girl who is now in the 2nd grade in junior middle school, told me that she was fighting for an american green card. she plans to go to the high school in us three years later, and then go to college, and then get a job there, and then as she wishes now, get that american green card. what can i describe her? an ambitious girl a pathetic one? ambious for her longing for the country of freedom, pathetic for... i don't know for what, but i think is not good. and because we were, are and will always be fucking chinese.
last night, i had a nightmare, a terrible nightmare. i haven't had that sort of nightmare for many days. i began to think about it this morning, until now when i am typing these letters. that nightmare reminds me who does really live in my heart now, who i am sacred of possessing because i am scared of losing at the same time. and today, when i was out, when there was a storm, i suddenly missed the blue sky, the blue sea, the breeze of shantou when i was there this spring festival, perhaps i am missing somebody.
tonight, did you turn off your light from 8:30 to 9:30? i did not for that kind of so called environmental behavior is meaningless. that kind of activity is just entertainment for those rich and idle people. no matter what we do, or how we do now, we and this planet, are going to perish, somewhere in time. maybe some day a goddamn asteroid hit this earth, and then we are all gone, for good. a bit cynical and pessimistic, yet it is true, to some extent. i still believe that we lose everything we care, eventually.
well, i am off the topic and writing bullshit again. so, end the this brief writing, and hallelujah, for wish, for fun, or just for nothing, period Comments (3)
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